Books.

Have you ever been reading a book that just kind of pisses you off? I'm doing that right now. The book is called Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman. It's super-hero fiction, and is told from two points of view: the first is an experienced villian named Doctor Impossible, the second is a rookie hero named Fatale. What pisses me off is I'm 99 pages in and I can't tell if I like it or not. Usually with books, I'm one extreme or the other. I either LOVE IT and devour it in a few days (if not hours) or I HATE IT and only make it a chapter or two before throwing it across the room and internally mocking it for... well, forever. With this book, I have no strong reaction. I'm still interested and keep knocking out a chapter or two every other night, but I'm not obsessed over it. I'm just r e a d i n g it, which is a new experience for me. Bizarre.

I'll let you know what I think when it's finished, I guess. But don't hold your breath.

Ahead of the game plan.

Tonight we had the 4th and final Rocky rehearsal of the week. It went better than expected: I've now taught more than I intended to by this point. Scenes 1, 2, and most of 3 have been blocked; Dammit, Janet, Over at the Frankenstein Place, and (as previously mentioned) Time Warp have been learned. Here is a shout out to Amber, Jonathan, CJ, and the cast for all of their hard work this week - you guys are wonderful!



I also wanted to give a special cheer to my girl, Esther. She will be playing Magenta, and girl has got it going on. After a 10 year absence from the stage, she is bringing her "A" game and workin' it like the rent is due. You go, girl! I have been friends with her for many years now and I never knew this side of her existed... all y'all who know her will be gloriously impressed.



My thoughts now turn to this weekend and the fact that I HAVE TO GET MY SHIT PACKED so I can make this move happen. Although I've been dwelling in Gahanna for two weeks now, I needs my stuff.

Let's do the Time Warp again.

Last night we learned the choreography for Time Warp. Carla Jo did an amazing job - I love how it looks. The cast caught on quickly, it just needs quite a bit of polish. Yay! Time Warp! Woo-hoo!

And, sorry for the burst of venom in my post yesterday. Politics just piss me off in general, and I prefer not to discuss them because I feel very strongly about things and I just get angry talking about it. Also, making fun of the President is just too easy, you know? Like playing Hide & Seek with Helen Keller - there's no challenge. All you end up doing is blunting your own sharp wit, and I would rather keep mine pointy.

So no more Bush-bashing for a while... unless he does something spectacularly stupid and I'm forced to comment. It's really all up to him, when you think about it.

George W. Bush is full of shit.

Y'all know I'm not a fan, but how he could even show his face in New Orleans today is beyond me. The following is a direct quote:

"My attitude is this: New Orleans, better days are ahead. It's sometimes hard for people to see progress when you live in a community all the time,"

What progress? I know all the funds that could be helping are tied up with the war he started and refuses to finish, but to pretend like he even gives a damn is just ridiculous.

And for the record, I don't think he's evil - just stupid. January 2009 will be a joyous occasion regardless of who gets sworn in, Democrat OR Republican, because this retarded monkey will no longer be in a positon to hurt anyone.

Grrrrrr.............. frustrated. Angry. I've been doing my best to ignore him since November 2004, but catching his comment today just set me off. Maybe one day we'll get a glimpse into the fantasy world he lives in and understand it more, but who knows. Fuckwad.

Wow... um, wow.

Yeah, it's funny. I don't think she's an idiot at all; we've all had those awkward "what-the-hell" moments where we don't know what to say and just ramble - shit, just look at most of my blog entries. I did, however, think y'all would get a kick out of this.

Party on, Wayne.
Party on, Garth.

You always remember your first.

Tonight was our first Rocky rehearsal, and I must say that things went swimmingly. It wasn't so much a rehearsal as an organizational meeting, but it still went well and everyone seems pumped. It was nice to get to know some of the cast a little better - for those faithful readers of mine who aren't in the show, you are in for a sexy treat!

Tomorrow night we have music, and then on Wednesday we choreograph the Time Warp. Three days in, and the signature song will be learned - woo hoo!

In other news, day one of my boss's vacation went well. Everything got accomplished that needed to be, and although tomorrow will be a bit hectic, after that it will be smooth sailing the rest of the week. I know I've gushed about my co-workers before, but they really do kick twelve kinds of ass. I'm also spoiled for any future working situation, because even though I usually get along with everyone, my department is seriously like a family. I love the four women I spend my professional time with, and I know they love me (or at least like me a whole bunch).

Sleep well friends, and may all your tomorrows be joyful and nice.

What gets a gal asked out to lunch?

Is it brains? Is it dough? No it's Hairspray!

Raking in a whopping 45% of the vote, Hairspray was the official winner in my recent movie musical poll! In a close second was Chicago, with 36%; and, tying for last place, Dreamgirls and Rent with a puny 11% each.

I would like to thank all 11 of my voters, and I urge you to stay tuned for my next nail-biting question!

And now to lighten the mood.

The previous post was a bit serious, so here's a funny video that might make you smile. It's a scene from Jumpin' Jack Flash featuring the divine Whoopi Goldberg. In the film she has become involved with international spies, and the bad guys are out to get her. Enjoy!

Losing my religion.

One of the big questions in my life has always been the question of faith. For the first half of my life, there wasn't even really a question: God existed (how could He not?), Jesus had died for my sins (why would anyone ever deny this?), and I was a Christian waiting to see what my calling would be. I thought for sure I'd be a preacher - winning lost souls for Christ would be the best use of my time on this earth. I sang in the choir. I attended youth group. I taught Bible School.

And then I slowly began to see inconsistencies in what I'd been raised to believe. It is really too detailed to get into right now, but by the time I accepted my sexuality, I had already broken ties with my Methodist foundation. At this point, my doubts had been raised by glaring hypocrisy, as well as a very conditional understanding of what was supposed to be God's unconditional love.

For several years after that, I investigated every religion I could. Other denominations of Protestantism, even very liberal ones, couldn't fill the void in my soul. Catholicism had a lot that I liked, but my deeply ingrained Protestant understanding of Scripture made certain aspects of the Catholic Church seem glaringly off-base. Judaism was interesting, but I never felt more than a fleeting connection. Buddhism and especially Wicca seemed much more in line with what I considered spiritual, but I felt uneasy when it came to practicing either of them. And Islam just wasn't that inviting.

So I continued on, with what felt like and open hole in my soul. I kept longing for something to believe in. Then, about a year and a half ago, I started reading books on free thought and atheism. What those books said made the most sense of anything I'd ever read.

I didn't make up my mind just then to be an atheist (and I guess I still haven't), but from that moment on I've been looking at the whole faith thing with a different set of eyes. I've gone back to re-examine all of the above mentioned faiths, and they are full of logical problems I cannot find a solution to if I were ever to commit to one of them. For the most part, they can give you good pointers on how to live a productive life, but there is also an exclusiveness about many of them that demeans others in general and inspires hatred and conflict as well. This dark side of faith makes me wonder why I would want to believe in anything at all.

Coming to this conclusion has made me realize that the longing I've felt inside was simply a longing to return to the innocence of my childhood, a time when you always knew right from wrong and submitted to an authority it would never occur to you to question. Sorry, but I can't just accept things anymore - I'm full of questions. I know there aren't answers to everything, but it is easier for me to accept "I don't know" instead of "I don't know, but God does, so do it this way regardless" or, even worse, "Why are you questioning God? How dare you! Repent now before you are banished to an eternity of torment simply for exercising your God-given free will!".

So for now, I don't really label myself atheist, because there may be a God, we just can't prove it. I can't say I'm an agnostic, though, because that implies some kind of belief in a God, which I'm not sure I have. I'm just un-labeled, I suppose, and that's fine with me - why do we need labels anyway? It's just weird that something that used to be so vitally important to my life is now just unnecessary.

Calling all theater geeks.

If you are into musicals, you might just enjoy this:

Too hot to live.

I hate hot weather. It makes me miserable. Not that I'm anxious for winter at all, but damn, I fucking hate hot weather. It makes me sweaty and self-conscious, and hello! I only like to feel that way during sex. Fall and Spring are so much better, unfortunately we only get about two weeks of each a year. Ohio's great!

I also realize that it's pretty damn petty to complain about the weather when I am so much more fortunate than a lot of people on this earth. I mean, how many don't have homes, let alone air conditioning, in this country alone? Guess it's just human nature to complain...

My poll is sore.

So, my fun little poll off to the side is broken. I think it has affected people being able to navigate back out of my blog (though why you would ever want to leave is beyond me). I tried to go in and remove it, but I couldn't - it's having issues on a grand scale. It looks like I'll have to just let the time run out and then maybe it will simply go away. That is the best way to deal with problems, after all: just ignore it and then it doesn't exist!

Ten reasons I love Jonathan.

10. Taking me to Cedar Point.

9. His gift for impulse shopping.

8. His "Brian Kinney Apple-Peeling" routine.

7. The child-like wonder of video games.

6. The Jonathan Stewart Show.

5. Running laps at band practice!

4. His impressive turns as Albert and Miles.

3. Sadie.

2. PUSSY CONTROL!

1. The trunk.

"We love ya, Jonathan!"

The internet is for porn.

Avenue Q was right. Nothing else to say about this - it's funny cause it's true.

Give me something to blog about.

Hey, kids. I thought I should post something, but I have no idea what to blog about exactly. So brace yourselves, this will probably be all over the place - or abruptly short. Or both.

Tuna Helper is tasty but takes about an hour to set up properly. Until then you have Tuna Noodle Soup. I now understand why people make casseroles.

I hate driving on 270 during a rainstorm.

Otterbein offers fantastic classes for Theater Majors - I spent my lunch break looking at the course desriptions and wanting to take them all. Does this make me a dork, or just highly motivated?

I am a legally certified Boyfriend Magnet. Just one small glitch - my power only attracts them for other people. I'm going to die alone.

How did my parents raise a family who didn't have everything, but had plenty and was grateful for it? I'm 27 and can barely take care of myself - my folks had their shit together. I love them, and can never express to them how thankful I am for everything they did.

How can Jesus be the Messiah when Old Testament prophecy states he would be of the line of David and born of a virgin, when both lineages offered in the New Testament trace the ancestry of David down to Joseph, his stepdad? Can you really have it both ways? And, if you can (and this could very well be possible - I am ADAMANTLY NOT trashing a world-wide belief system), but if you can, why does everthing else in the Bible have to be interpreted literally - such as a universe that was created in a calendar week or that Noah took two of every kind of animal on a boat that physically couldn't contain them all? Sorry - just a little frustrated at the fact that my civil rights are dictated by religious beliefs and cultural prejudice.

On a similar note, how can religions like Christianity and Islam be so vilified over the actions of a small percentage of their adherents? I know some really fantastic Christians and have met some really nice Muslims - why the hell should they be lumped in the same categories as Fred Phelps and Osama Bin Laden? I guess people just tend to notice the Assholes and make snap judgements about everyone else.

Granny Smith apples make me poop.

My earlier picture post counts as a post. I am pretty and I have many skills, but what I went through to post one tiny little picture... Grrrrrr. It counts.

As I approach bedtime, one last question to ponder - why do I always wake up an hour to forty minutes before I have to wake up? Then I just get grumpy and desperately try to squeeze in those precious last minutes before I am forced to greet the day, and then I dose off into the most interesting dream I've had all night and BAM! then I'm awake and pissed.

Well, for not having anything to blog about, I did all right. I just typed things down as they floated through my head. I think a lot, I guess. I hope you enjoyed the snapshot of where my mind wandered this evening - feel free to comment and discuss, but Keep It Nice or I will delete your comment and bitch-slap you when next we are face to face. I'm serious. I will cut a bitch!

Peace Out.

Mmmmmmm.... Ice Cream!

Queer as folk, remix.

I am currently rewatching Queer as Folk as Jonathan discovers it for the first time, and I'm remembering how much I enjoyed this show. Granted, it's not the greatest artistic accomplishment of all time, but it's fun. It's got a lot of heart, a lot of sex, and characters that I just adore (for the most part). Lisa and I gave this show up at the beginning of season four, but maybe I'll be able to continue on this time. Who can say?

Super paper joy.

I have a secret. Wanna know what it is? Come closer. Say please. All right, if you insist...

I'm in love!

Oh, no, not romantic love! Not even naughty, one-night-only love. Who am I in love with? Well, I guess it is a man. Short, Italian, very strong, and he has the cutest little mustache.

That's right - it's Mario. And not just any Mario, mind you, it's Super Paper Mario for Nintendo Wii. This game is just something beyond fun. I'm serious - they haven't invented a word for how sweet this game is. Of course,

SPOILER WARNING

this is due in Very Large Part to being able to play as Princess Peach. You know, I think Princess has always been my hero. Maybe I'll dress up as her for Halloween.

I was all by myself.

Last night I stayed in my new digs - Jonathan's condo in Gahanna. Jonathan himself was away at Cedar Point all day, so after work, I had Evan over to play Wii and have dinner. After some rousing adventures in Donkey Kong Country, a couple of delicious Pizza Hut Pazones (my only complaint - they need to give you more sauce), and some episodes of Family Guy, he went home and I was left alone in my new place.

It was creepy.

Seriously, how has Jonathan lived by himself for a year here? It wasn't scary, just creepy as hell. I, who normally love being left home alone - Ahhhhhhhhhhh! - for long periods of time, found myself lonely and uncomfortable. I kept wishing Jonathan would come home early, but as anyone who knows him will tell you, the chances of him leaving The Point early are about as likely as me going down to the park and working out geometry proofs on the paths with sidewalk chalk just for shits and giggles.

Where was I? Oh, yeah... alone and wigged out. So, I realize a lot of it is just being alone for the first time and adjusting to the regular noises and/or eerie silences. And I wasn't completely alone, because little miss Sadie was puttering about, but still - weird. I decided it was best to just go straight to sleep, because I was also barely concious anyway, so I didn't even blog: just straight to my room and straight to bed. Well, as straight as my gay ass was capable.

And here we are - Saturday Morning! Everything's fine, and I have come through with the realization that perhaps I am not quite the loner I'd fancied myself. My, my, self discovery just abounds for me as of late.

Okay, I'll be posting something frivilous later today to keep up with the whole "30 posts in 30 days" thing. And thanks to Travis and Jon for your words of encouragement! You guys are sweet.

Epihany.

Okay, so I had a moment of clarity and purpose today. Scary, right? So anyway, a little back story:

As much as I love my job (and especially my co-workers), I've been growing more and more dissatisfied with it it lately... and by lately, I mean about eight months or so. And I've felt really guilty about being unhappy and wanting something more because I have a fairly well paying job with really good benefits and a work schedule most people would kill for (8:30-5:30 Monday through Friday, no nights or weekends) - all without a college degree. It is work that is emotionally fulfilling and has very few downsides, and yet, there was still something wrong.

So, I've just been trundling along, doing the work (but not as well as I could be) and finding ways to pass the time, like taking an occasional college course - 10 credit hours and a 4.0, bitch! - and becoming involved with Center Stage Players - Munoz, Pseudolus, Director - etc. And then this morning, while selecting large print christian fiction for one of our patrons, it HIT ME: Why was I unhappy? Simple - I wasn't following my dream. Corny, I know, but seriously, I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing. And just what exactly am I supposed to be doing?

Drum roll, please -

Theater.

That's right, theater. It's what I truly love to do and what I do best. Don't get me wrong, I'm no fucking prodigy or anything, but I have an aptitude and a deep passion for it. Theater work is what I should be doing full time, period.

So how do I get there?

Time for some hard, serious choices. I need and want training, and I also want a college degree, so we are looking at full time school. Which would mean part time work, and that's what I need to make happen - not right away, but before fall of 2008. I will go back to college and get the degree I should have started 10 fucking years ago.

I will need to focus, and I don't have stars in my eyes or visions of flitting onto Broadway with a BFA in acting and taking the performance world by storm - I am looking at a general BA in Theater with a focus on management, but with training in and an understanding of all the various disciplines. This is all with an eye on continuing on for a Masters Degree and then either a teaching position - which I would love - or an administrative/creative position with a professional company. And if I want all this to happen by the time I'm 35, then guess what? Enough bullshit - time to make it happen.

I am entering into a living arrangement that will allow me to pay off all outstanding debt and set some aside. It's now or never bitches - I need your support, understanding, and encouragement. And who knows - if I can make this work, maybe I'll even inspire someone else to follow their dream... who knows? Seriously, if I can make consistant blog posts for a week, what can't I do?

Rock-a-bye baby.

Today was Jennifer's baby shower. It was far from the boring old traditional showers you usually have to endure a few times a year - this one had a rock 'n' roll theme. The colors were red and black (no pansy-ass Powder Blue or Pepto Pink), there was fruit and ice cream (not cake and punch - we went with foods we knew Mom-to-be actually liked), and the scattered decorations were classic rock albums and 45s. Presents were opened to a mix CD featuring Janis Joplin, Queen, Green Day, the Beatles, Red Hot Chili Peppers, the Who, and many more. Also, all of us throwing the shower each wore a T-Shirt depicting a different rock band. Yeah, we're dorks, but we're cool dorks.

Anyway, Jenn recieved a lot of baby stuff, and she was very grateful. She was also touched by the amount of thought we put into the shower itself - it really meant a lot to her that we did something that took her personality and interests into consideration. She's only been in our department a year, but we are all really really really gonna miss her while she's out on maternity leave - oh, well, at least we'll get a baby out of it!

And I just know she's gonna go into labor when it's just me and her in the van and then I'm gonna have to deliver a baby and won't that be an interesting entry...

Okay, I'm sleepy, and I'm going to sleep.

According to schedule.

So, I just spent 4 hours or so this evening hammering out a detailed rehearsal schedule for Rocky. All I can say at this moment is "gsajhgabdwbdwb." That's right, ladies and gentlemen, my brain is officially fried.

The plus side of my mental fatigue is that I got something really important done, and it's going to make life easier for me, my production staff, and my cast. If you haven't gathered by now that I'm working with some utterly amazing people, I am, and they deserve nothing but the best from me. And, god as my witness, I will never give them anything but my best!

So, now I must finish some laundry and prepare for a busy day at work. In addition to a hectic schedule (ah! that word again!) of work related... work, we are also throwing a baby shower for Jennifer, our beloved co-worker. Hmmmm... methinks I know what I'll be blogging about tomorrow...

Ten reasons I love Lisa.

10. The bitch can sing.

9. Popping my Chipotle cherry.

8. Coffee and fear.

7. Several years of Holiday Cheer.

6. The mom my necklace got her.

5. Flying Saucers.

4. Introducing me to so many of my friends.

3. Moving me to the Columbus area.

2. The fact that she is (and always will be) an original.

1. The bitch can sing.

"We love ya, Lisa!"

Bye bye birdie... um, for real.

Welcome to Sunday's official entry. I am seated at my future homestead, blogging away, while Amber and Jonathan play Sing Star. We are less than 90 minutes away from the commencement of the Bye Bye Birdie cast party (hence the title of this particular post). Once tonight has come and gone, Birdie will have officially ended. Upon it's passing, a few words in memoriam:

I hate Bye Bye Birdie. It is one of my least favorite musicals of all time, and although it includes some really good material, it also includes quite a bit of duckshit. That said, I must say that I really loved CSP's production. I enjoyed it so much I was able to watch it 4 times. This is a testament to the talent and energy of the cast and crew. Residual duckshit aside, it had some of those fantastic moments that make you love musical theater.

So Birdie, I give thee Kudos and a Pithy Farewell - rest in peace, you saucy little fowl.

Rocky auditions.

Well, today (and by today I mean August 11th) we conducted our auditions for the Rocky Horror Show and I am proud to say that I have one hell of a fantastic cast! Everyone brought it, and I was able to use a majority of those who put themselves out there - my only regret was that I was unable to use everyone, but that is one of the unfortunate realities of casting a show. This was a new experience for me - I've never been on the deciding side of the table, but I had a fantastic team: Amber, Jonathan, Ed, and Mary - you guys are fucking amazing! I am quite pleased with the results of our efforts, and I am very happy that some of my "unconventional" casting ideas have been so well received. So keep reading - there will be a lot of Rocky news over the next few months.

After casting, I dragged my wretched ass over to the Blankenship/Cermak/Manter housewarming soiree'. Their new place is fantastic, and a great time was had by all in attendance. The food was good, the company was good, etc. I wish I'd had the energy to stay longer (and perhaps drink more), but I am one tired old queen and mama needs to go to bed.

So until tomorrow, gentle readers... which I guess is actually today... keep it real. Peace be with you.

My truck got touched.

Today was Touch-a-Truck in Westerville: a couple dozen community vehicles showed up at the Westerville Community Center to be seen and explored by hundreds of local children. My boss Julie and I got to show off the library van, hand out fliers, bookmarks, coloring sheets, and - most important of all - candy. I had been dreading this because of the heat (and noise), but I ended up having a fantastic time! It wasn't too sunny and there was a nice breeze, and after an hour the honking horns were barely noticeable. It was fantastic to get out into the community and make kids happy!

Anyway, Rocky auditions tomorrow - I can't wait!

Mary made me do it.

Well, I've never ever consistantly blogged, but my friend Mary is going full force from scratch and she has inspired me to jump back in (I mantained a blog for 3 posts for 1 month in 2004). Here we go:

My name is Michael and I'm five flavors of fabulous. Life is pretty great right now - I have a new car (an '07 Chevy Cobalt named Joanne), a new living arrangement (with a '78 gay named Jonathan ), a renewed since of job security (thanks Westerville for passing the levy on Tuesday!), and a fresh challenge (directing my first show - Center Stage Player's 5th Annual Production of The Rocky Horror Show)! I've got a lot of irons in the fire, and damn if I don't feel like writing about them.

I will also scoop up Mary's 30 posts in 30 days challenge to get me off to a good start - and yes, this post counts, too!

So stay tuned, comment away, and check out my friend's blogs - they are fun to read. And speaking of my friends, here's a a little shout out to Lisa and Jim for having kept up with their blogs for a few years!